Jeremiah Boby

Why?

I wanted to learn more about humans and how social engineering works, so I decided to coerce unsuspecting parents into thinking I run a school. Jeremiah, while roughly 8 years older than me, managed to learn the Art of the Deal quite quickly under my command.

What?

The behaviour of other species has fascinated humans for centuries. I, however, have always been most fascinated by humans themselves and their ability to be manipulated by me. After realizing that the Ice Cream Man would sell me ice cream for 5 pennies less if I just claimed I did not have enough money, I realized that by making people feel pitiful for me, I can exploit them for my own good. It started out similarly with Jeremiah. When his parents brought him to my “school”, he saw in me a pitiful little worm that was “thrown out of school” and needed help. One thing I’ve learned: in every game and con there’s always an opponent, and there’s always a victim. The trick is to know when you’re the latter, so you can become the former. I mastered this and became his opponent.

It was the greatest con I’ve ever pulled. I will explain it. In you, there is something about yourself, that you don’t even know. Something that you will deny even exists until it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s the only reason you get up in the morning, the only reason you suffer the shitty boss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. “Fear or revere me, but please think I’m special.” We share an addiction. We’re approval junkies. We’re all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The “hip, hip, hoo-fucking-rah.” Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Cos we’re just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.